


breathe in, breathe out (let the human in)

by XialiPrince



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Identity Issues, NOT disassociative identity disorder!!!!!, Tim Drake Has Issues, no beta we die like robins, someone get this boy a therapist, this is Not Good but I want it Out of my dropbox, what is it with me and angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XialiPrince/pseuds/XialiPrince
Summary: Knock knock.Who’s there?Tim.Tim who?Who is Tim?
Kudos: 31





	breathe in, breathe out (let the human in)

**Author's Note:**

> Two fics in one week? What is this?  
> Nah, sorry, I'm just clearing out my files! I quite like some of these older fics, so I figured I'd post them instead of leaving them in my dropbox for all eternity. The title is from the song 'Human' by Of Monsters and Men, since it was initially the inspiration for this fic.

Timothy Drake is the genius son who saved Wayne Enterprise and brought it up to new heights. He’s the one people hate to respect, the one that sees through deceit and barely glances at a contract before picking out the loopholes. No matter how much they despise him, the board members have to grudgingly admit that he does his work well.

Red Robin is the detective. He sees through schemes with a glance, constructs elaborate plans to achieve his goals with the ease of a spider spinning a web. He’s the one that villains and allies alike are afraid of, his sharp smile less of a comfort than a threat, every word out of his mouth laced with double meanings and untruths. It’s easy for him to play the game, walking a tightrope over the chasm of insanity with an icy smirk. He’s the one that ordinary people take uneasy comfort in (because it’s harder to be afraid of the monsters when there are monsters on your side).

Tim Drake-Wayne is a little smaller than Timothy or Red. He’s softer, more genuine. There’s a gentleness to him, emphasized by his lack of self-care and tireless drive to protect his family. He’s focused on his work, but is always there to comfort or support when someone needs it, slipping away into the hollow halls of Wayne Manor the moment his role has ended and there’s somebody else there to fill in the gap.

Tim is…

Well. He is. That’s about it. There’s nothing particularly special about Tim, except for the ease with which he switches from mask to mask. Tim’s never needed to smile, so he’s not quite sure what it looks like. Cold and manic, like Red Robin? Warm and kind, like Tim Drake-Wayne? Confident and assured, like Timothy? There are a hundred different faces he’s worn, but he’s never found one for himself. At this point, he’s not even sure there is one.

It’s not like it’s ever mattered, anyway. Nobody wants Tim, so Tim has to stay under everyone else.

Quiet.

Always, always quiet.

There are times where Tim sees the unease around him, the way people will recoil when they see him switching masks. It digs a little, but he’s learnt by now that they aren’t afraid of who he changes into. The fear is from how easy it is for him to change. Tim can slip into a new skin with the same effort that it takes to flip a coin, and that is a terrifying ability to the people around him.

It unnerves Stephanie. Dick never liked Red Robin’s smile, only Robin’s (though Robin’s smile is long gone, now, and Tim struggles to find it when Tim Drake-Wayne needs it). Bruce sees it and only logs it as a strength – a tool in Tim’s belt, one that he can use to further the Mission.

Damian hasn’t seen it happen yet, since Tim tries to stick to Tim Drake-Wayne when Damian’s around. Timothy thinks that Damian is an uppity brat and isn’t afraid to tell him that. Red Robin is too risky to leave with Robin, too filled with cold hatred for the one who stole his colours to support him as a Bat should. In comparison, Tim Drake-Wayne is a ghost – there when he is needed, gone when he is not. Snarky and irritating, perhaps, but not _dangerous_ in the way Timothy and Red are.

Jason doesn’t really know much about the masks. He’s not had much reason to see them, and the change from Robin to Red Robin was largely considered to be ‘growing up’. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to see.

Cass sees all his faces, but she’s never cared. She’s always been able to see through them, cutting through Timothy and Red and Tim Drake-Wayne all the way down to where Tim lies, concealed below the surface. It scares Tim sometimes, how easily she can find him.

Alfred is strange. He knows about the masks, Tim’s sure, but he’s never once been unnerved by them. Once, just to see how Alfred reacted, he switched from Tim to Timothy right in front of him. The only thing that changed was an arched eyebrow and the offer of a thermos of tea.

The team used to find it funny. Bart would make up a backstory, Cassie and Kon chipping in wherever they wanted until their monstrous creation had three cats, a traumatic past with anchovies, a degree in Art History, and a helicopter license. Then, Tim would find the thread of the character and bring him to life. Their laughter rang through the tower.

Until it didn’t.

Until Tim lost Kon and Bart, until Bruce was gone too, until Cassie thought he was insane, and Dick didn’t want him as Robin, and everything that made him _Tim_ was lost forever. Until Tim burned away, and the masks of a thousand fake characters took his place in the ashes of what remained.

There is no mask that thinks on such things, no mask that lets Tim grieve. When Tim is hurting, that is the only time that he knows that the facades are gone. He can scream and cry and punch things and sob, and he knows that it is truly him, but the second the door opens, he finds that his eyes are dry and his hands mechanical as he tidies up his mess. Dick will peer around the door, eyes crinkling in welcome when he sees Tim Drake-Wayne’s figure hunched over a pile of junk.

Tim Drake-Wayne smiles with all the strength of a dying star, shares Dick’s enthusiasm when he suggests plans to spend time together that Tim knows will never be followed through on, lets himself be hugged with only a token eyeroll that disappears when Dick teases him and ruffles his hair.

It’s not real.

It’s not _real_.

His cheeks ache from the grin, his hands shake when Dick comes near, but Tim Drake-Wayne has not faltered yet. The place where he took a bullet last night screams when Dick nudges him. The pressure of Dick’s hand against the back of his neck makes him feel sick with the terror of _threat threat threat_.

Tim Drake-Wayne keeps smiling.

That’s all he’s ever been good for, isn’t it?

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this one's kind of abstract and more of a character study than anything. As always, please leave a comment if you'd like!  
> Constructive criticism is always appreciated as I'm still developing my writing style. Thanks for reading!


End file.
